After the birth of a child, the first thing that goes through the mind of the parents is the upbringing of the child. The measures taken in upbringing of the child have a grave effect on the personality of the child and what he or she grows up to be, therefore, for sensible parents the strategy they are going to adopt in upbringing of the child is as important as the education or other prime necessities of the child.
In Islam parents have a great responsibility regarding the upbringing of a child. It is not something that is optional for the parents, rather they must raise their children good as they will be held accountable for the way their children turn out to be. The lines below discuss some ways in which Muslim parents can raise their children in a better manner which results in them being better Muslims.
The first thing that is required for good parenting is gentleness. Children are naïve and they don’t know the difference between good and bad, thus, if the parents are too hard on them the result is blow to their confidence or they building resistance against the aggression. Islam teaches parents to be gentle with the children. In one of His hadith, Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) said:
“Whoever was given his share of gentleness, then he has been given a share of good. And whoever has been prevented from his share of gentleness, then he has been prevented from his share of good.” (Tirmidhi)
From the hadith it is clear that gentleness is synonymous with goodness, therefore, parents who are gentle in their attitude with the children impart good in them which in return is reciprocated by a good response from children. Therefore, the route of aggression or excessive strictness as a means of achieving discipline should be avoided.
In another hadith Prophet Muhammad (PBUH)
“Treat your children fairly, treat your children fairly.” (Nasai)
At another place, Prophet (PBUH) said:
“Act equally between your children; Act equally between your sons.” (Abu Dawud)
If one considers these two hadiths then one realizes the fact that perhaps the biggest two reasons why parents fail in raising their children well is that they don’t maintain fairness and equality among their children. When both these factors are missing, the ultimate result is the development of rivalry and inferiority complex in children, which seldom leads to them being better person let alone Muslims.
Hazrat Aisha (RA) narrates about the way Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) used to behave with children in the following way:
“Some Bedouin people came to the Prophet (PBUH) and said: ‘Do you kiss your children?’ He said: ‘Yes’. He said ‘But we, by Allah, never kiss (our children)’. The Prophet (PBUH) said: ‘What can I do if Allah has taken Away mercy from you?” (Ibn Majah)
This narration shows that Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) used to kiss children and regarded it as a mercy from Allah Almighty. Kissing the children is an expression of affection. When it comes to upbringing of children affection pays an important role. There is no denying the fact that every parent loves his or her child, however, this love needs to be demonstrated and the simplest way of doing so is by kissing the children. When parents kiss their children it demonstrates their love and gives a positive message to children under the impression of which children also show and represent their love for the parents and pay heed to the affectionate requests and instructions of their parents.
In a nutshell, parents have a great responsibility pertaining to raising their children in the way of Islam. In order to do so parents must avoid strictness as much as possible and attract children towards goodness by being compassionate, kind and affectionate. In addition to that, Quran is the ultimate source of Guidance, teaching your children about Islamic and Quranic teachings will help them become a better Muslim. If you are interested in that, you can educate your Kids with Online Quran Classes now.